Eventually, I am going to write about the back story on how I ended up waiting for a call from Jack, the intake case manager at The Ranch as I will call the rehabilitation facility I am about to enter. For now, I'm just going to say that at 11:14am on May 14th, the anticipated call from Jack finally came.
Last week I was number three on the list of people who wanted to enter the program and it the list was moving at a snails pace - but Jack called this morning to tell me that the the two guys ahead of me haven't called him back and that if he didn't hear from them by the end of the day, I would be in. He asked how long it would take me to get ready, I asked for 48 hours, he gave me 40. Fair enough, I've been mentally ready for a while now anyway. I think.
The list of things I want to get before I go in seems endless but mostly it comes down to toiletries and a hair cut. I am still really worried about how I am going to get my hair cut while I am at the ranch. I know that seems ludicrous but I'm pretty nervous about what the next 13 months are going to be about and it seems like a regular haircut is my last hope of maintaining some piece of my life. Not to mention, when you don't know what else to worry about (because I have no idea what this will be like), I think you tend to make crap up. Most of us like to worry for whatever reason. And, the only thing I know to worry about is the haircut situation.
The haircut is also probably one of the few things I want to hang on to anyway. I do love my hair, and the fact that, unlike so many things I've been proud of in my life, I havent lost it because of drinking. Its been a rough decade and I nervously hope that by the end of the program, the only alcohol I will need to have will be the alcohol in my hair product. Baby steps.
I won't know for sure until Friday morning if I am in this weekend for sure, but, I'm gonna go to sleep tonight secretly hoping the two guys ahead of me were too hung over to call Jack back. Yea, maybe a selfish thought, but so what.
Over time, I'll tell you about the Ranch, and about the stumbles that led me there, but I am really sleepy and have a long day ahead of me.
Days sober: 9
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Busy first day.
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ReplyDeleteWhat an inspiration! I was addicted to meth for 13 years, then it was Oxycontin for 1 year. I'm clean now. But it wasn't easy, as I did it on my own, no treatment, or rehab. You are very lucky to be at the place your at. I would have given anything to be able to be there. Your blog is like a good novel I cant put down. I'm learning so much by reading it. Things people learn when in rehab, I guess. keep writing, I will keep reading....Thank You
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