Well, yesterday I met with Rusty - who will be my counselor through the program. The program has a couple different areas where you are given treatment - of course addiction treatment; treatments which have to do with health training; Education (which is career counseling, education counseling, and financial counseling- like budgeting, taxes, starting your own business, banking, investing, etc.) and then there is also personal counseling.
Personal counseling is the only counseling that is optional and not manditory because it is counseling which is available to the resident and we are not required to focus on addiction. We can talk about anything - relationship problems, addiction problems, family problems, life trauma, good, bad, whatever. We can go as often or as little as we want, and hell, if I am getting free therapy I am going to take advantage of it. Rusty said I can meet once a week if I want for as long as I want. Some of the guys only meet with him once a phase (thats required), and not weekly, but I think I am going to take him up on the weekly meeting for a while.
I may as well clean out as many cobwebs while I am here. I have a fear of heights, I have a fear of loneliness, and its just cool to talk to someone about anything. I'm going to start a list of things we can talk about.
I was a little nervous about this because one of my triggers to drink is loneliness and boredom, and while I am extremely busy on the ranch and find it hard to be lonely somewhere where there are 70 guys, I am afraid that once I am released I may fall back because I hadn't dealt with that. Rusty told me this was a good observation and we can focus on this in our sessions (he calls these sessions, not treatment, because he does not want us to view therapy as being part of rehab treatment, but more of a life time tool we can use). I think I am going to like talking to him a lot!
Today is all farm work day - everyone on the ranch - no matter what department you work (including staff) has to do farm chores - like pull weeds, get the stables ready, irrigate the corn maze (barely planted) etc. I am in the kitchen, so I dont have to do this, but I do have to work in the kitchen to give the guys a feast, and so I am going to make this entry fairly short as I want to get back - we slaughtered an Angus earlier and here are the rewards. I've also included a 'before' picture of the steak - Cleo the angus who is SO delicious! and the after. I am including some pictures of Brian and me making the steaks - but, pay attention to the beautiful surroundings behind us - I love the views. And the home made pies Mark made and the fresh vegetable salad I made - YUM!
Have a good weekend all - Stay safe.
Days sober: 24
Sounds like things are coming along. Therapy sessions are a good thing - talking through issues with an independent objective person frees you to really examine yourself. I like that your sense of humor is in high gear - I laughed in spite of myself at the reference to the before and after pix! Take care and talk to you soon. Mom
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